On Wednesday of this week I had a profound realization. I am a thoroughly unreasonable woman with a thoroughly unreasonable life. Say what, lady??? Much more on my unreasonable life in future posts. While I am mostly rational, I have almost never been reasonable. So what’s the difference, you may ask? Here’s how I explain the difference. Rational means my five senses work properly. I have my “marbles.” I’m sane. Reasonable, however, has a nebulous, subjective definition. One definition Merriam-Webster.com lists for reasonable is “based on good sense.” Another definition is “having sound judgment; fair and sensible.” This begs the following two questions. Who decides what is sound judgment? Who decides what is considered fair and sensible? Confused? You should be. Unreasonable people are people who are not content with the status quo, who cannot accept it when someone tells them “that’s just the way it is. Get over it.” To me, unreasonable people can see what’s possible, don’t stand on ceremony, say what needs to be said in a way that others can hear them. They do what they do for the common good of the people.
Here’s what I see. We adults live far too reasonable lives in which we only want to be bothered with the bare minimum of outside intrusion. It’s the “I’m-too-tired-leave-me-alone-let-someone-else-fix-it-I’m-not-rockin’-the-boat” syndrome so many of us suffer from. That is until it’s your friend’s teenage son who is shot for “walking while black and wearing a hoodie,” or it’s your vagina the government wants to be “all up in,” as the kids say today. Then we become unreasonable as a reaction to some outside tragedy or annoyance that temporarily propels us outside of our comfort zones. We’ll go to a march wearing our hoodies, make grand statements on Facebook and Twitter, create agreement amongst our friends and family on how wrong something is. Good for you! I do it too every day. But then we go back to the couch, curl up with our iPads confident that we made a difference when in reality we actually took few meaningful actions to impact anything.
What’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. However, if we look at it from a sales perspective we’re leaving money on the table. There are more opportunities to be had from those experiences, bonds to be created, society to transform. Most adults just have an extremely weak muscle for creating sustainable change. They’re not bad or wrong, they just don’t know how. They don’t have buns of steel for getting what they want out of life. That comfy couch beckons with a “come hither” look like Kate Upton on this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. If you’re not familiar with this image, Google it. 🙂
My purpose for this blog is to start a dialogue to show what’s possible when we stop being reasonable (complacent, really) and see how to create the kind of lives we all dream of for ourselves and our families. I will share stories from my own life, warts and all. I’ll share what other people are doing to create meaningful and lasting change in their families, neighborhoods, and society at large. There may be video or audio interviews involved. I’ll invite guest bloggers. I’ll make one promise to you all, dear readers. When I give feedback to your responses I’ll only listen for what’s possible to create in any situation. Deal? You can respond below, tweet me @juliamaddoxnyc, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let’s start talking…